Meiyazhagan

After initial reviews on Social media platforms, I wanted to see Meiyazhagan in all its glory at the theatres but for some reason it got pushed back and had to wait until it arrived on OTT. It was a movie I wanted to watch along with the family based on what little i knew of the plot and story. The movie starts with a bang, the loss of ancestral home and the impact it has on the family and Arul. Naa poren naa poren verum kooda and the subsequent lyrics had so much depth that it resonated with my own personal loss of moving away from Madras in similar circumstances. The loss of one's identity and place in the world can shatter even the strongest minds. 

In the first 10 mins as the movie deals with the family vacating and move out of their ancestral town, I had made up my mind that this deserves a serious watch with full attention. The family could have stayed in Tanjore for rent and but they don't, it had a personal connect, for similar reasons I have not gone back to Chennai.

Cut to 20 yrs later Arul and his family live in Chennai and lead a normal life. On invited for his cousin sister's wedding, he painstakingly makes the journey to Tanjore after such a long gap. The way he is uneasy is evident with the use of headphones to shut out the outside noise and his anxiety. His mind yearns for it but he is not sure if he can handle things from the past. The conversation between Karuna (bus conductor) and Arul reminded me of myself when I used to visit India after 2017, not sure where I fit, always nervous and fidgety. He wants to leave all the time even before he has not attended the wedding or properly even settled in. One is never sure when one has to deal with demons of the past. What to make of it? 

As he gets to the mandapam, he meets his murai ponnu and that interaction is a plot in itself. Someone who has done everything that has been asked of her but life doesn't return the favour or treat her kindly. Worse the ones who expected to her do the things asked of her have turned a blind eye and have moved on. It's a story of many a woman and man who have been conditioned since birth to fit into a well oiled regimented system to play their respective roles and follow the path of milestones. For some it works and for quite a few it doesn't leading to a lifetime of internal conflict and sadness. The movie highlights this aspect but does not try to deal with it. The smile on the murai ponnu face when Arul enquires is a story in itself. (courtesy : jillu) 

He also encounters his maama, the loving Sokkalingam ( my dad's name is Sokkalingam) and the ensuing conversation between Arul's dad and the uncle is another plot point that could be a movie in itself. Two well meaning men in their last embers dealing with their emotions and respecting each other's view and boundaries. 

Though we are not shown a lot of detail about the relationship between Bhuvana and Arul, we can see the depth and bonding in the reception scene. She makes the entire entourage of guests wait until her brother gets to unpack and help her put on the gifts he has got. I assume they havent met in the interim 20 yrs but have managed to stay in touch and that filial bonding had stayed intact. I have always yearned for a sister and it made me emotional. It is a ultra-slow scene which immerses the viewer with that closeness, respect and parting of 20 yrs. 

Enter the magical character or the genie in the box - karthi and the movie shifts to another plane. He is full of kindness and showers anbu and akkarai when he bumps into Arul. Arul has no clue about who the guy is and struggles with the ensuing journey.

This is a magical arc, elif shafak would have turned it into a befitting sufi story. The confused Arul who wants to get away from Karthi at every possible instance ends up having to stay at his house overnight. He doesn't know Karthi has his own plans and why he is so endearing. At first he is uncomfortable, irritated even and ends up giving a wrong number. But he slowly relaxes and lets his guard down while they ride on the kinetic honda to Karthi's home. He grips his muscular arms around Karthi's shoulders, an affectionate gesture indicating that the distance is diminishing. 

Arul is even more bemused when Karthi's wife also treats him with kindness and great respect. A man used to the hustle and bustle of Chennai gets a bit confused and gets flustered. The men start to loosen up further as the drinking session starts, Karthi narrates the story of the house they currently live in and why it is so special. Arul started to engage and the initial irritation has all but disappeared, he is in the mood to indulge even. The movie shifts to another plane when Karthi narrates the significance of the cycle and how much it means to him. Arul is moved that someone has gone to extreme pains to maintain it so well. What is trivial to one has so much significance and meaning to another, we don't even have a clue in life sometimes. It meant freedom to move around, growing up faster in the world of men, the cycle had been part of his life's journey. The discussion reaches a climax when Karthi reveals the would be name of the child he his expecting. Arul reconnects with some of his childhood memories and he is overwhelmed by the affection he is receiving. 

The scene that looked so simple but that affected me so much was the act of forgiveness. An anger that has been residing for 20 yrs, that has kept him from living in his ancestral house goes off like smoke in  few seconds. I could relate to it, anger eats away the person no matter the unfairness of the circumstances that led to it. It's an incomplete and miserable life that one leads and keeps latching on to that anger to justify actions.  Arul knows it is only a ghost he is carrying, he no longer recognises the people who caused it, they don't even matter to him. When Karthi suggests forgiveness, he is overwhelmed with this man's demeanour and attitude to life, he just says ok in a flash. It was a beautiful moment, it was not forgiveness of those ppl, it was Arul casting off his demons. The longing, the past, the unfulfilled wishes all disappear. 

But before he can process what's happening to him and stabilise, Karthi comes up with a request. Arul is shaken to the core, he doesn't know how to deal with this situation and he runs away which is probably the pathway in his brain. The running away scene is so powerful when he carries Karthi's slippers in his hands, fidgets around in the bus stand and requests the poo kara akka to do puja. This is a man who's been overwhelmed and has so many conflicting emotions in his head. He feels like a worm but at the same time has so much respect and love for Karthi. Who is this guy ? 

Bane becomes a boon; vendum vendum endra urava pirinjen (a momentary call back to my dad who passed away earlier this year, I'm glad I made peace with him) 

He goes away to Chennai and attends to work but it's irking him, he is not sure how to go about this. The universe intervenes and his daughter does the needful. The following conversation is one for the ages, a beautiful conversation between two beautiful souls. He slowly recollects things to realise who the guy is, in some sense it is almost therapeutic. In the end, Arul has banished all the demons, unknown fears of his mind and goes back to his hometown. He no longer feels unsure or insecure of himself; pure love mei anbu has so much transformation power. 

I wish a Karthi had come into my life, but I guess in real life Karthis don't manifest in one person, it could be through a bunch of encounters with strangers and people around us. I believe there are a lot of beautiful ppl around us. It reminded me of my dad's death and my own journey of facing my demons, it didn't happen in a day but slowly but surely. I am not fidgety around my relatives any more, or going back to my dad's company. I am more comfortable in my skin than ever before. 

Questions that kept coming at me or reflections 

Would I have liked this movie so much if I had still lived in Chennai or for that matter in India? Would I have transformed into a different person if i had continued to live in India. What made me connect so much was the sense of loss and the transformation arc of overcoming the loss to face life as is. I think i am at a stage where i want to face life as is than what it should be. 

It also made me miss my hometown, which i anyways do. I have worked hard to craft a new identity and have transcended the pain but the pull of home is incredible. How do I go about it in the coming years, the sense of generational continuity is bound to dimmish or dilute as i continue to live in the western world. 

Am I just nostalgic when i think of my hometown or is there a deeper connection, there is something in our mann and makkal. That question is for another day! 

Keep giving love to everyone not just your family, the world will become a better place with each day. 

Why are CSK and the IPL important to me?

04 April 2021

The IPL is here and the Chennai Super Kings are about to play their first game of the campaign. I have been waiting for the IPL to begin and watch the Kings in action. It is close to my heart and the three hours of cricket bring so much joy to me. But Why? 

Thanks to my parents, I have been a fan of various sports since childhood and like most Indians growing up in the 80's and 90's, Cricket was top of that list. Post-liberalization and the entry of satellite television gave access to European football which breathed new life into my sporting fandom. The opportunity to watch games weekly league was rhythmic compared to the oddly structured cricketing season. The betting scandal in the early 2000s made me distant with cricket and pushed me towards football. 

The football clubs of historic European cities Milan, Munich, Barcelona, Madrid, London made it all the more exotic. It was no longer about just about the game, it gave a lens to view foreign culture with a perspective. Arsenal under Arsene Wenger were the perfect combination and I became an ardent fan of the club. Waking up at 1 am to watch Champions League games with little concern for the university lecture or the work day ahead became quite normal. Arsenal matches were of the highest priority and would plan family time, friends and other activities around it. I had never been to London but there was a sense of bonding with Arsenal fans around the world. 

Fast forward to 2016, I landed in the UK to do my MBA at Cranfield University. The first weekend in the UK, I travelled to London and visited the Emirates Stadium. I still remember my heart pounding as I stood outside the arena close to Bergkamp's statue. I even got a chance to see Ozil and Sanchez combine to destroy Chelsea, life couldn't get any better than this. I had gone thrice to the Emirates by the time I graduated in Sep 2017. 

My family moved over to the UK in Jan 2018 which involved actions and chores to support their settling down and feeling at home. Suddenly I was no longer a student with a tourist mentality but a husband and a father making the rest of the family at home. It was in 2018 that CSK made a comeback from their 2 year hiatus. As time passed by the irony of missing home and helping the family be at home needed that release. The Chennai Super Kings provided that tribal affiliation and rekindled my love for the city. 

CSK won the 2018 edition and came close in 2019 but they look like a spent force going forward. Despite that Chennai is Chennai and Whistle Podu is here to stay. 

Day 4 naples

A slow start after a good sleep. Naples was a shocker initially , nothing like the Western European advanced city one would presume. Garbage all over, beggars , bad roads, traffic , noisy ....

Good reasons why most tourists avoid ......but Naples is Italy at its seductive best, the warmth of the people , the bustling street life, the noise and the humane feeling is second to none when compared to an European city.


Naples used to be a part of the kingdom of two Sicily and was ruled by German, French, Spanish, Norman rulers through its history and only through cunning was Naples captured by the Italian Risorgimento . One can still feel the distrust Neapolitans have for the northerners and its best exhibited during the football match between Napoli and the old lady juventus. Milanese and the northerners consider Naples to be shabby and less cultured whereas Naples was the biggest city of Italy in the 1860s.

We decided to explore the city in a more casual manner than the usual touristy museum landmark style and touched down on via tribunali one of the three arterial roads of ancient Naples along with vicaria  Vecchia and apostoli. The via tribunali houses the street hawkers, doll makers, cafes, pizza houses - one can say the soul of Neapolitan life. The first stop of the day was in a pizza restaurant and I must admit truly Naples is the home of the best pizzas.

We turned round the corner to visit the famed veiled Christ at museo Capella sansevero, it's a private exhibition holding probably one of the most magnificent artistic pieces of Christian Europe, one could be easily misled to lift the veil covering Christ and i would place it beside pieta at the Vatican. It also holds some more gems and this museum is not to be missed.


After the visual treat of the San severo, we walked on to another of Naples treasure trove , the Naples archeological museum which houses the artifacts and relics from the excavation done at Pompeii and Herculaneum . For someone who had been to Pompeii before I was waiting to see the original excavated items. The mosaics were simply breathtaking considering the effort and the attention to detail and the one of Alexander v darius caught my attention.

After immersing ourselves for a couple of hours in the rich treasures of Farnese gallery and the best of Naples we took a train to Via Toledo, the chic shopping street leading to the Neapolitan riviera.
The shopping street had the usual suspects from Gucci to Armani to Benetton and we skipped them all. We stopped to have a shot of cappuccino and sfogliatella which is a pastry native to the campania region.

Since it was late, we couldn't get into the San Carlo theatre , the oldest and grandest opera house in Europe , would love to get in there and watch a show once. Just beside it is the plebiscite square and the bibliotheca over looking the gorgeous bay of Naples. The walk along the boulevard of the bay of Naples is a serene experience with casual joggers, couples and tourists. Several castles are located along this stretch for obvious reasons during the medivel period.

We closed off the day with a dinner at one of the chic restaurants on the chiaia coast ........

Day 3

day 3 in Rome was a nice affair. Starting with catacombs of San Sebastián. We travelled outside the city walls to the appian way to reach the catacombs. It has been one of the highlights of the trip so far,. The catacombs were burial places just like modern day ones and Rome had several of them and these dates to 1st century ad.

Just like modern urban centres, real estate was expensive back then and people had a tough time finding space to bury their loved ones. In comparison to today's cities which have gone vertically upwards, the Roman towns went beneath to accommodate their sprawling megapolis needs. The Christian idea of burial than burning due to the faith in resurrection after judgement day is one retained by the abrahamical faiths. The catacombs had curators and coffin makers , interminably the coffin maker stamp was existent on all coffins - a precursor to the modern day sales tax.

Next on the list , st clement church which is built on the ancient order of Mithras. As Christianity became more accepted and also later the official religion, the pagan religions were trampled upon and one can see traces of ancient religions bring exterminated. Two levels of ancient churches and Mithrae.

Last stop in Rome before moving to Naples was the beautiful and majestic basilica of Lateran st. Giovanni . It has been the seat of the pope for a considerable period of time in history and also one of the pilgrim churches of Rome.

A beautiful cup of coffee and we are off to Naples, the bustling and sprightly southern city.

Roman holiday day 2

Day 2

After the tiring first day it's trips to Vatican and trastevere , our aching bodies needed some rest and we started the day at 11am.

The lan was to hit Ostia antica and the usual suspects of central storica of Rome including the pantheon and Navona.

The journey to Ostia antica took an hour and 15 minutes and the by the time we reached the small village we were hungry. Downing couple of pizzas took us an hour more than we anticipated. It was a new experience travel with a 11 month inquisitive baby.

Ostia used to be a sea port with the river Tiber flowing through it from Rome so it was used as a storage yard as well. The ruins and excavation is a sight for anyone interested in knowing how people loved 2000 yrs back. The baths are well preserved , hot water for the entire public, wow. Mosaic design for floors are so contemporary that it's awe inspiring . The Roman amphitheater is a engineering marvel with such acoustic accomplishment. The entire complex is supposed to be the biggest excavation site of Roman period. Our lives are merely a continuation of the past and it's absurd to think that time has stood still.

Going back to the city , we attempted to hit the beaten track of central historical district of Trevi, pantheon, piazza Navona , gothic church and campo d fiori . Since we started late we could visit only the Trevi and campo d fiori . We had coffee at Saint eustachio's supposedly the best coffee Rome had to offer. The cappuccino and tiramisu were divine to say the least.

Dinner was sumptuous calzone with ham n cheese.

Roman holiday

day 1

Tired after the long flight from chennai to Rome.

We saw the imposing Flavian amphitheatre or the more common name colosseum first up

It was interesting to see why it was built and the origins of the name coliseum

Leaving Constantine arch, we entered the palatine hill and the Roman forum. The once bustling city space of roma is all to see from basilicas , senate house, temples to deified emperors , markets.... It's a glorious sight ....the Roman columns are just colossal in size

We took a long walk along the Roman and imperial forum viewing the Trajan column up to piazza Venezia ... With beautiful view of the Risorgimento and Italian unification monument of vittorio Emmanuel 2 while waiting for the bus to take us to St. Peter square.

Lo behold the holiest place in the western world, St. Peter basilica...... The adornments and embellishments, the holy door and the baroqueness are stunning.

Walking along the chilly w.ind, we reach trastevere , the Roman city side of working class. The Santa Maria church built on 23 Roman columns and the apse featuring a glittering Christ.

Dinner was a sumptuous Roman affair with meat broth, lentil soup and rabbit in vinegar sauce.

Can Arsenal bounce back ?

This was not the classic attacking and free flowing football but definetely the most intense game of the season so far. Highflying Arsenal came up against floundering Manchester United at Old Trafford and the build up to the game was mind blowing.

The theatre of dreams have been a jinxed place for the Gunners with the recent 8-2 drubbing being the most humiliating result for Arsene Wenger during his illustrious career. This time it was different as the Gunners were on top of the table and had just beaten Liverpool and a strong Dortmund side. The gunners boast the best midfield of the league with Ozil, Cazorla, Arteta, Ramsey and Wilshere and must have hoped that much of the game would be played in the way they wanted i.e crisp and fast football.

The red devils started with a high pressing game and the gunners were pressurized into making small errors in passing and positioning which were absent in their previous games and it showed the nervousness of the Arsenal players. Ozil and Ramsey were poor beyond any words and were playing well below their normal levels, Cazorla tried hard to get into the game but could not as well. The red devils had one clear strategy and were executing it well, block Arsenal from playing in their style, Rooney was their most industrious player and he was the one who created the goal. The first half was a tactical battle between Moyes and Wenger and the former Everton man was winning but the second half was different. Arsenal started playing well and enjoyed 65% of the possession but without many clearcut chances. The introduction of Gnabry provided some width and pace and all Arsenal fans must have wondered what would have been if Walcott and Podolski played.

By all means this was a competitive match and the decider came from a set piece and Arsenal fans must not put their heads down. After a long time we have a team which can battle and win matches, but it would be wonderful if Arsene signed a more accomplished striker, Giroud is playing well but just not at the level of rooney or Van persie. Ozil must start making more effort when things are not going his way, he just disappeared from the game on many occasions and was marked by Rooney though towards the second half he started making runs and finding space.

After the break hopefully we will have Walcott to speed up the play and bring some width and keep playing good football.